Nursing Strike....Day 3

Friday June 1st 2012

8:00am-
I am exhausted-both physically,emotionally and mentally.
I haven't slept well-partly because of little ones being up at night,but also because I'm worked up about not nursing.
I hear Jacobi waking up and I go into his room and sit down with him and try to nurse.
Same reaction I've been getting......He is overly fussy and squirms to get away from the breast.
I feel lost.
I always nurse him,every time he wakes up,every time before he naps,before he eats,when he's fussy,tired,hurt.......ALWAYS.
But not this time.
I take Jacobi to my husband and say "You have to take him....I don't know what to do-I need to pump"
It's been over 48 hours since Jacobi nursed.


9:30am-
My husband calls Jacobi's doctor and makes an appointment.
We want to rule out any ear problems or other medical issues.
I take Jacobi in......His doctor says his ears are "perfect" and although he is getting in teeth,she doesn't feel that impending teeth are a cause of him not nursing.
She notes that at his age and with a sudden stop in breastfeeding he probably isn't weaning-at least not on purpose.
I head home confused and frustrated.



3:30pm-
Jacobi took a long nap-about 4 hours-and so I've pumped twice.....I'm getting less milk now in a session and worried that my supply will drop and anxious about fitting pumping into my daily routine.
One of my amazing facebook friends connects me with a lactation consultant........who doesn't live anywhere near me,but does phone consultations.
I hesitate.......I've already received comments about just 'letting him wean,he's almost 1 yr old' or 'just doing it for myself'.
It's hard to focus on what I know is best for my child when I don't have support.
I realize that in our culture most people aren't informed correctly about a lot of things......And I have to remind myself that I have done the research and as Jacobi's mother it is my responsibility to use that knowledge in his (and my) best interest.
I will continue to give him every chance to come around.



6:45pm-
I only have two children tonight-the other two are staying the night at my mom's house.
After I put my sick child in bed I decide to try another one of the 'tricks' I've heard.
I run a bath and sit in it with Jacobi......he splashes for a bit and then wants to get out of the tub.
When I try to sit with Jacobi he just wants to play.
OK.
No pressure......maybe later.


7:40pm-
I contact the lactation consultant and say "I would like a phone consultation ASAP!"
We agree that she will call me at 8:30 to discuss our situation.
Jacobi is getting sleepy,so after he refuses to nurse-in any fashion whatsoever (on the floor,in the window seat,in the chair) I give him some of my milk in a cup......he gulps it down and I put him to bed.


8:30pm-
Renee (IBCLC) calls and I anxiously describe what's going on and answer every question she has.
She agrees that Jacobi self-weaning at his age is unlikely-especially given his prior nursing routine.
She feels that possibly he has something going on structurally-like with his jaw,mouth or otherwise.
There is also a chance that something happened emotionally to upset him.
Renee suggests several things to try:
*Lots of skin to skin:baths,massage,breasts exposed,more co-sleeping.
*Sippy cup or bottle close to nipple so baby has to move towards nipple.
*Try some type of food on nipple that baby loves.
*Try nursing while he's asleep,try some novel things,carry him around in a sling when he's sleepy.
*Try laying on the floor with shirt off.
*Try to get help with the other children-focus on baby for full 24 hours.

She also gave me some tips on pumping.



11:30pm-
I've pumped several times and have about 10 oz of milk in the fridge.
I try to go to bed.....my mind is tired.
Jeremiah (my sick 3 yr old) gets up and lays in my bed for a while.
I finally get him asleep by 2 in the morning.

I am not looking forward to tomorrow.
I'm burned out and my husband has to work all day from 1pm until 10pm-which leaves me home with four children-one who is sick,one who will be tired from a long overnight stay with grandma,one who is unpredictable and a baby who refuses to nurse.
It's all in the outlook.....right?