Friday June 1st 2012
I am exhausted-both physically,emotionally and mentally.
I haven't slept well-partly because of little ones being up at night,but also because I'm worked up about not nursing.
I hear Jacobi waking up and I go into his room and sit down with him and try to nurse.
Same reaction I've been getting......He is overly fussy and squirms to get away from the breast.
I feel lost.
I always nurse him,every time he wakes up,every time before he naps,before he eats,when he's fussy,tired,hurt.......ALWAYS.
But not this time.
I take Jacobi to my husband and say "You have to take him....I don't know what to do-I need to pump"
It's been over 48 hours since Jacobi nursed.
My husband calls Jacobi's doctor and makes an appointment.
We want to rule out any ear problems or other medical issues.
I take Jacobi in......His doctor says his ears are "perfect" and although he is getting in teeth,she doesn't feel that impending teeth are a cause of him not nursing.
She notes that at his age and with a sudden stop in breastfeeding he probably isn't weaning-at least not on purpose.
I head home confused and frustrated.
Jacobi took a long nap-about 4 hours-and so I've pumped twice.....I'm getting less milk now in a session and worried that my supply will drop and anxious about fitting pumping into my daily routine.
One of my amazing facebook friends connects me with a lactation consultant........who doesn't live anywhere near me,but does phone consultations.
I hesitate.......I've already received comments about just 'letting him wean,he's almost 1 yr old' or 'just doing it for myself'.
It's hard to focus on what I know is best for my child when I don't have support.
I realize that in our culture most people aren't informed correctly about a lot of things......And I have to remind myself that I have done the research and as Jacobi's mother it is my responsibility to use that knowledge in his (and my) best interest.
I will continue to give him every chance to come around.
I only have two children tonight-the other two are staying the night at my mom's house.
After I put my sick child in bed I decide to try another one of the 'tricks' I've heard.
I run a bath and sit in it with Jacobi......he splashes for a bit and then wants to get out of the tub.
When I try to sit with Jacobi he just wants to play.
No pressure......maybe later.
I contact the lactation consultant and say "I would like a phone consultation ASAP!"
We agree that she will call me at 8:30 to discuss our situation.
Jacobi is getting sleepy,so after he refuses to nurse-in any fashion whatsoever (on the floor,in the window seat,in the chair) I give him some of my milk in a cup......he gulps it down and I put him to bed.
Renee (IBCLC) calls and I anxiously describe what's going on and answer every question she has.
She agrees that Jacobi self-weaning at his age is unlikely-especially given his prior nursing routine.
She feels that possibly he has something going on structurally-like with his jaw,mouth or otherwise.
There is also a chance that something happened emotionally to upset him.
Renee suggests several things to try:
*Lots of skin to skin:baths,massage,breasts exposed,more co-sleeping.
*Sippy cup or bottle close to nipple so baby has to move towards nipple.
*Try some type of food on nipple that baby loves.
*Try nursing while he's asleep,try some novel things,carry him around in a sling when he's sleepy.
*Try laying on the floor with shirt off.
*Try to get help with the other children-focus on baby for full 24 hours.
She also gave me some tips on pumping.
I've pumped several times and have about 10 oz of milk in the fridge.
I try to go to bed.....my mind is tired.
Jeremiah (my sick 3 yr old) gets up and lays in my bed for a while.
I finally get him asleep by 2 in the morning.
I am not looking forward to tomorrow.
I'm burned out and my husband has to work all day from 1pm until 10pm-which leaves me home with four children-one who is sick,one who will be tired from a long overnight stay with grandma,one who is unpredictable and a baby who refuses to nurse.
It's all in the outlook.....right?
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