Why yes,we do Bed-share!!

When I mention 'Co-sleeping' most peoples first reaction is to bug their eyes out and ask in a concerned tone "Aren't you worried you'll roll over on the baby?!?!"

Okay,well instead of giggling and rolling my eyes,I have to acknowledge that many people aren't educated about the potential benefits of bed-sharing.
In fact,it seems to me that so much of our culture is only aware of 'potential' risks to bed-sharing.
The recent negative publicity-courtesy of Milwaukee,WI-has everyone in an uproar.

There are risks and benefits to sharing the bed with baby and the same goes for crib sleeping.
Become aware of those risks and benefits and then make the right decision for your family.

*To clarify: Co-sleeping means 'close by' and Bed-sharing means just what it is 'sharing the bed' with your baby.
We Bed-share in our house-but we have also roomed with our babies once they were older.
I love having my baby in my bed-and despite many awakenings,it's more of a dreamy fluent state-no getting in and out of bed every time baby cries!
And his crying is actually very rare-and on the occasion that he does cry,it's not for long!
I.Am.His.Pacifier.

I have bed-shared with all of my boys for at least the first 5 months exclusively and then at least part of the night until they were 12 months/weaned.
I feel it is very comforting and I find security in having them so close-by....And I'm certain they enjoy it too!

Hopefully some of these excerpts from articles will bring attention to the benefits of responsible bed-sharing....


Most early sleep studies were based on bottle-fed, solitary sleepers, with little night-time contact from their parents.
So, much of our “scientific” knowledge base is skewed to this model, and much of our advice focuses on independent sleep, and “self-soothing.”


Sleep Varies Based on Feeding Method:
Breastmilk is low in protein and fat, and high in lactose, so is digested quickly, so babies need to eat frequently.
One study showed that although length of sleep did not vary based on whether baby was formula or breastfed, breastfed babies were more easily aroused.

Sleep Varies Based on Sleeping Location:
Bedsharers woke twice as often, breastfed twice as often (avg. 1.5 hours between feeds), taking in three times more milk.

Bedsharers cry less: .5 hrs per night vs. 2.5 hrs/night for solitary sleepers

Bedsharers get more total sleep


When a committed adult caregiver, sleeps in the same room but not in the same bed with their infant the chance of the infant dying from SIDS is reduced by 50%.

Of known infant suffocation deaths:

139 in adult beds (25%)

428 in a crib (75%)


If 25% of deaths occurred in adult beds, and 75% in cribs, then we need to know what percentage of babies sleep in each location to understand the relative risk.


PRAMS data from CDC: 68% of US babies co-sleep at least some of the time.

Kimmel (2002) in Mothering:

Interpolates from PRAMS data from CDC: At any given time, ~ 44% are co-sleeping

This, combined with previous rates shows:
Bedsharing less than half as risky (42 %)

Crib sleeping had a relative risk of 2.37 compared with sleeping in an adult bed.



“ Almost all SIDS deaths associated with parental bedsharing occurred in conjunction with a history of parental drug use and occurred in association with the prone sleep position or sleep surfaces such as a couch or waterbed.” (Gessner)



Possible protective factors of co-sleeping
Breastfeeding mothers arouse 30% more frequently when bedsharing. Usually awoke before baby. This might increase the chances that mothers could more quickly detect and intervene against a life threatening event.

Babies have immature nervous systems. The bedsharing adult may help cue the baby to regulate temperature, breathing, and arousal patterns.



Where do babies sleep?
Meredith Small cites one study of 186 non-industrial societies. None of them have their babies sleep alone in the first year.

In another study of 172 societies, all infants do some co-sleeping at night.



Where Are U.S. Babies Sleeping?
Bedsharing rates:

About 50% say sometimes,19% never bedshare, 39% sometimes, 16% almost always, 27% always

Bedsharing was three times more common amongst breastfeeding families.
The above statistics and information were found here:
Sleeping like a baby~The how,when and why of newborn sleep

And the go-to doctor:
DR Sears addresses co-sleeping concerns

If you are able to view Pdf files,this is an interesting,informative presentation:
Best start co-sleeping presentation

No really Honey,the Diapers are All I Want for Christmas!!

Do you know where this is headed...?
If you don't,I could give you a moment to read a few of my other cloth diaper posts...eh,never mind.
Promises I can keep-until I'm let out of them!

Yes,okay,okay-I did it,I bought MORE diapers.
Hubs read my blog about feeling lost without my diaper shopping need being fulfilled-and what does he do? He lets me off restriction and tells me I can spend $xxx on diapers;so there is my Christmas present.
What else could a girl ask for other than cute fluffy mail?

But,I am really pretty much-well,almost done buying any more diapers;they do have a really cool Fuzzibunz in black that I would love to have-even hubby would love it-but it goes without saying that I have enough diapers.
So,unless I sell some,the option of purchasing more is out of the question.
Hubby says "If you're gonna spend money,at least switch it up a bit and buy something else;we have enough diapers!!"
Okay....But,I did order the 'Changing Diapers' book,so any new tips are great!

I do feel that I sometimes don't have enough inserts-I double the micro-terry in every one of the 'big boy' diapers,so I use them all every time!
But,as I discovered today while putting all my nicely washed and folded nappies away: I have too many diapers.
I have heard moms say "Oh,you can never have too many diapers!"
Ha! Well,I have too little room then,cause there is no squeezing anymore diapers anywhere-at least anywhere they SHOULD be (although I suppose I could store some under my bed....)

My count is about 80 diapers-a lot I know! But I think it's a good number,since when Jeremiah goes to his grandma's overnight and he takes 1/10 of them in his bag,it leaves my stash looking a bit pitiful!
So,I bought more during the 'double diaper dollar rewards' promotion.

And I have another coming in the mail-but in my defense,the one I'm waiting for I actually won!!
I am so super,duper excited to try it out!
It's a FLIP Trainer system and I am really hoping it will work for Caleb so we can kiss night time pull-ups goodbye!

I did finally admit to myself-somewhat like a smack upside the head-that I have too many diapers and my little 'habit' needs a long break.

Guess I'll be using all those 'diaper rewards dollars' for detergent

Man V Diapers........

Men and diapers.....I guess it's either all or nothing.
Maybe I'm lucky that he changes diapers at all;other moms note how their husbands won't change stinky diapers-others won't change them at all,poopy or not.
My hubby has always stepped right up when and if needed to change even the most explosive diapers.

That being said,I have a confession.......I don't exactly have hubby 100% won over to cloth diapers.
He doesn't mind that I bought them and he thinks that it's great if we will save money (yeah right,with my diaper addiction any thought of saving money will be out the window soon!).
But he is quick to want to throw in the towel (diaper) when it isn't as easy as he thinks it should be.


For instance,he gets frustrated with the snaps and aggravated when the snaps aren't lined up correctly.
The poopy diapers are a new experience and to him it seems more convenient to just roll up the whole mess and throw it away.
He does change the diapers and boy do I hear about it!

"Stinkin things,I can't stand these stupid snaps!"
"Honey,it takes time to get used to them;once you know where they should be on each boy it will be easier for you"
Mumble,mumble........

"Yuck! I hate these liners,I can't tolerate touching them-it's disgusting!"
"If you prefer,we don't have to use them...I just thought they might make clean-up easier for when they poo"
"Well,I don't like 'em!"
OK then.....

$#@% !! I just got poop on my hand!!
"It happens,calm down...here let me....."
Apparently men get very easily disturbed when it comes to poop.


"You're poopy again?!"
"Honey,I can get that...."
"No,I don't mind changing him,but not in these diapers!"
Right.....

Hubby is okay with me buying diapers and he thinks its healthier for their 'boy parts'-but changing them,yeah,I think he would prefer Disposables still.
Although,I did hear him telling his aunt on the phone that he thinks cloth diapers are the way to go.......

Maybe I'm closer to about 82.67% ??

Lend a Hand or Let it Be.......

My oldest son has a few challenges and quirky behaviors that make him stand out from the crowd.
Not a day goes by that I'm not reminded of how strong I need to be just to be his mother.
If it's not a teacher,bus driver or another adult,it's a neighbor child complaining,telling me Caleb is acting 'strange'.
This breaks my heart.
I've walked outside to check on him while he is playing,and I've heard how hurtful other kids can be;one time making fun of how he said 'ice cream'.
These were mostly older children-well,about 12-13 years old-making fun of a young boys speech being a bit different from theirs.

I have tried to raise my children that everyone is made different;sometimes people are tall and skinny,sometimes they are short and chubby,sometimes they have a bigger nose or shorter arms-it doesn't matter because God made us all unique and that's what's great about us!

Back to Caleb.....
His teachers have always tried their best to meet his needs and communicate with me about any ongoing problems at school.
I know that Caleb has his days-trust me I know!
I have sought out every form of therapy-for him AND for me.
I know I'm not a bad mother.......But sometimes people say things and I start to second guess myself.
"Maybe it is me...."
"Maybe I really aren't consistent enough"
"If I just tried harder......."

Then I realize,WAIT!! It's not me!!

It's disheartening to have people question my parenting;sure,I am a young mom and I do have my plate full!( but it's so amazing and I'm very blessed!).
We all start out thinking "I've got this" regarding how we will parent our children-from the manners they will exhibit and the infallible bedtime routine they will adhere to,to how soon they will sing 'Jesus Loves Me' in perfect pitch.

Our aspirations are often unrealistic.
It's so easy to judge other parents-up until your little one is no longer tucked away in your belly and it all becomes real.

I used to be one of those young,misinformed people who thought "Wow,those people need to be more forceful with their children" when I would see a mom or dad with a young child acting less than appropriate.
I have since looked at a struggling parent-in the store,at a movie or any other public place- and I think to myself " I know what you feel like-neither of us are perfect parents,but if anyone knows they aren't perfect,it's us.....".
I don't burden that mom or dad with mean scowls or stares that say "Why don't you just control your brat?!" since,after all, do I know their struggles or situation?
No,my actions portray as much emotional support as I can-at least through a facial expression.

If you don't have children,are new to being a parent or have 'perfect' kids and see a frustrated,defeated parent-here are some tips for you.

Don't stare.
Don't tell them they need to spank their child.
Don't suggest they that they be more consistant.
Don't mumble "Can't that lady control her obnoxious kid?!?"

DO toss a "looks like you're having a bad day,but I understand and I hope it get's better" look.
DO offer to let her ahead of you in the line at the grocery store if you can (I can't tell you how many times I would've PAID someone to let me get out of there faster during a meltdown)
DO-if you get a chance and even more so if you know her-tell her that she is doing a good job and her child is lucky to have her.

Imagine putting everything you have-your heart and all your love-into a project-a product that reflects you as a person...Picture feeling like you fail everyday and constantly having to overcome that.
Now,think what that would be like on top of everyone pointing out that you aren't ever doing enough-that you are less than inferior to the rest of society.

THAT is how so many parents of children with disabilities feel.
THEY have to fight hard to overcome those feelings of inadequacy and self doubt.

So,before you decide to speculate or assume,remember that there are real parents with real feelings trying very hard to be the best parents they can be-and it's not always easy.

Lend a Hand or Let it Be......

The Nonsense........

A recent news story covered an issue that is far too common:
Breastfeeding in public and,what the public thinks of it.

A woman was forced to make the decision to bring her baby into court with her;while there her baby became hungry-like babies do- and she needed to nurse him.
She was apparently very discreet and would have gone unnoticed had a court clerk not made it known to the Judge that she was breastfeeding.
The Judge called the woman up front and asked:

"Do you think that's appropriate in here?"
"It's not illegal and I have to feed my child"
"Well ma'am,this is my court room and the law doesn't apply here-I choose what is acceptable in my court room-do you understand?"
"Yes"
"OK,we'll get along then"

I couldn't find the actual transcripts right off for exact wording,but he told her it wasn't appropriate in court.

Now,you might be saying about this particular situation that the baby shouldn't have been in court to begin with-and I can agree with this completely-but they made NO effort to have the baby removed or any rules set in place saying babies weren't allowed in the room.

The issue should have been with a baby being in the court room during proceedings,rather than because the woman was breastfeeding.
If the baby was being fed a bottle (which is also much more likely to 'spill') would anything have been said?Doubtful.
My advice to this courthouse and their Judges,is DON'T ALLOW BABIES.

The story itself actually wasn't the worst thing;in the comments,there were posters on both sides of the fence.
Some commenter's were standing up for the breastfeeding mom,saying that babies have got to eat and that they understand her situation.

But some comments related to actually breastfeeding in public appalled me:
"I don't want to see women breastfeeding"
"I don't want my children exposed to a woman nursing!"
"There are places that are inappropriate for breastfeeding"
"That's immoral"
"Just because something is natural doesn't mean it's appropriate in every time and place"
"Breastfeeding women just feel it's their right to do it anytime,anywhere they want"
"A court room is a place of reverence-not for breastfeeding"
"Feed your baby formula while on-the-go...nobody wants to see you breastfeed"
"Pump some milk in case baby gets hungry"
"Plan your trips around the feeding schedule"


With the exception of the last two,the other comments are just ignorant and ridiculous and do NOT support breastfeeding.
This is unacceptable.
I don't have the energy to once again address these comments....I have already shared my view on the original news story page (Which you can view here) and after being met with much disrespect and idiocy (yes,I will call them out.Their opinions are based on a unfounded belief that 1)breastfeeding is a filthy disgusting thing and 2) anyone who does it must be too-especially in public) needless to say,I was pretty furious.

One thing people keep saying is that they have their rights too:
Right to free speech-so they can tell breastfeeding moms how distasteful breastfeeding is.
Right to not be subjected to seeing anyone breastfeed.

Some went as far as to threaten having a breastfeeding mother cited for indecent exposure due to her nursing in a public place-this of course was met with a statement (by me) saying :IMPOSSIBLE. BREASTFEEDING MOMS ARE EXEMPT FROM IE CITATIONS.
Nice try you little worm.....

This makes me even more proud to be a breastfeeding mother.
I WILL nurse my baby when he is hungry.
I will and have always been very discreet while breastfeeding.
But I WILL nurse my baby if he needs to eat.
YOU having an issue with seeing a hungry baby being satisfied in the most normal,natural way-is NOT my problem.
I am sorry that you are so misinformed about breastfeeding....
The vast majority of women don't expose themselves while nursing-but if she does,so be it.
At least she's nourishing her baby.

I'm not even going to waste my time stating such obviously common-knowledge facts.

Telling a woman she cannot breastfeed is discrimination.
If you don't believe that-if you're one of those people who feels breastfeeding is for behind closed doors-I have news for you:
Your opinion is for behind closed doors.
If you don't want to see a baby breastfeeding-stay home.

ANYWHERE MY BABY CAN GO,I WILL NURSE HIM
Sure,I feed him before I leave the house.
I don't make it a point to nurse in public.

But this insane nonsense of "There are places you just don't do that"...yeah,sorry my baby eats when he needs to.

This is sadly another disappointing situation that has shown me why a women fail to succeed at breastfeeding.
I am near embarrassed to live in a culture who prefers feeding our children second-rate nutrients over seeing the 'real' thing.

This is a moment I am PROUD to be the MINORITY.

'Disgusting'?

'Distasteful'?

'Indiscreet'?

I THINK NOT

Dear Midwife......A Lovenote

For most mothers who have children,they will tell you the day they gave birth was one of the most memorable of times they ever experienced.
Some of the stories are bitter-sweet;they were traumatic,frightening experiences where the woman lost control of her birth.
Many of those experiences could have been prevented,had the woman and her caregiver been on the same page and had good communication throughout the prenatal phase.


Sometimes complications arise where interventions are needed that might go against what the woman desired;having a provider who understands your wishes and views birth the way you do can make this situation one of trust rather than one of fear.
If you know your provider believes in the birth process,yet suggests an intervention,then at that point they are being the 'guardian' of birth,rather than the controller of the process.


I chose the wrong provider for my first three births-and as a unfortunate result,ended up with far from the birth experience that I desired and than what would have been entirely possible had my provider allowed birth to happen normally.


Although my choice in care provider was poor,I learned that I needed to become informed of my choices,and find a birth attendant who considered birth normal and natural-until proven otherwise.





To my midwife,


I thought and prayed long and hard before I choose to deliver my baby at home.
My hubby was from the approach of not being sure that home birth was safe and was worried about 'what if' something were to go wrong.
I pressed on,reading many books and searching for as much information as I could gather to make sure we were making the right decision.


Then I called you.
You were so kind from the get-go and you allowed the choice to birth at home to remain ours;you never pressured us and that meant so much.
You just let the process be and that made me realize that we were the ones making the decision-not because someone else was telling us this was how it should be.


You listened to me and were genuinely interested about my well-being.
There was never a time when I needed to call you that I felt I was inconveniencing you or wasting your time.
You left all the decisions up to me in the end-from if I felt like giving the 'tinkle' sample,to if I wanted to have my blood pressure taken or my baby measured.
Sure,most of these things probably needed to be done occasionally,but you never made it 'protocol' or treated me as if I was ill.


You were so gentle when you'd measure my belly and feel my baby.
It always seemed as if you really looked forward to meeting our baby as much as we did-and that influenced my feelings about you substantially.


Your visits were something I looked forward to.
Unlike my previous providers who insisted on examining me every appointment in the 9th month,you made it an option if that's what I wanted...And surprisingly I never really wanted to.I understood that my body didn't need to run on a clock and that it would do what it needed to when it was suppose to.


You always were so nice when you came into our home;you always greeted our other children and asked how they were doing-even though they ran off with your urine test strips a time or two!
One thing that meant so much to me was how you would always tell me that I was glowing,and how I looked so beautiful pregnant....I believed you.
Even though I was big and sore and heavy,I truly was made to feel amazing and beautiful.

You encouraged me and told me I would do splendid-never offering a hint of anything less than belief in me,my body and our birth.

The day I called you telling you I'd been having contractions,you spoke nothing but compassion and there was certainty in your voice that I was competent to know what my body was doing.

You did everything I needed during my short labor.
You offered to be as involved as I wished-or as hands off as I preferred in order to give me the privacy I might desire.

You never insisted I be subject to prodding or exams,and you were considerate of letting me birth the way my body instinctually knew how.

When I was in the most intense phase of my labor,you were there putting cool washcloths on my body and quietly encouraging me.

My birth experience was beyond words.
I felt so empowered and it was far above my expectations-I never thought I could feel so much love and caring during my birth.

For everything from the visits before Jacobi was born,to his birth and then all the postpartum visits and phone calls,it was amazing to have you as my midwife and I will forever be grateful.

Thank you for devoting your life and your heart to guiding families through this life changing event.
Because of providers like you,birth works!

Love,

Denee

I've got the Blues.......PPD

I don't want to come off like I'm saying I know what severe postpartum depression is like because I probably don't.

What I DO know is that after my youngest,Jacobi was born,I experienced a surge of emotions like I never had before.

I felt like the world was spinning so fast,like I couldn't keep up ;everyday was a blur and I spent as much time in bed as I could.




I didn't feel like I had just had a beautiful new baby boy-I knew he was here and I felt empowered and amazing about our wonderful homebirth-but I didn't find the joy in life with my new little bundle.

What went through my mind was thoughts of incompetence,loneliness and wanting my days to just hurry up and end.

The things I was feeling might possibly have been related to being a new mommy again-I won't say it wasn't.




Hubby and I had difficulties communicating our feelings,so there was always tension.

I didn't feel I was important,and I was feeling under-accomplished on a daily basis.




I felt I needed to assume the 'happy life' of others around me-people who always seemed so cheerful-and just be content and count my blessings.




I felt hopeless everyday-my life had changed in an instant;I went from being in control to feeling completely out of it.

Why couldn't I handle my tasks and why did I feel so tired all the time?

Other moms were always taking all of their children places and spending such quality time with them.

All I felt was insecure and ashamed for feeling like I wanted to be alone,just by myself, in the quiet to figure out what was wrong with me.




I wanted to fix what was happening with me.

Looking at my children and feeling guilty for never doing enough-but not having the energy to do more than the basics.

The things I used to take pride in-keeping the house clean,running around outside with the boys and being chipper-I couldn't seem to grasp the desire to enjoy.

I felt like asking someone for help would complete my circle and make me a failure.




If ever there was a Niagra falls of tears that fell,it was from my eyes;I felt powerless,lost in this strange new place where I was suppose to feel happy,but was at so many times far from it.

I would sob into my pillow,sit solemly while nursing Jacobi,praying that I would just feel some joy in my new life with this new baby.




Every day I faced a battle to just 'get through' it.

I felt so alone in every sense....But yet I felt smothered,needed from every direction.




New babies take a lot out of anyone,but then I also had three other boys who desired my attention,demanded more of me than I felt I could handle on my own.

I thought everyone would feel it was silly to be so concerned about kids doing 'kid' things and that possibly,if I couldn't manage the children I had,that I should consider not having any more babies.




Often I would wonder,"what is the point?" when I am just barely getting through my day,all I do is cry and I'm not being a good mother.




This went on for almost 4 months and I'm still fighting with a rollercoaster of emotions.

I denied that I could have postpartum depression....How could I have it when I never had before?

But now,looking back and having research it a bit,I realize that I did have it.

I still struggle at times with my emotions and with my daily challenges-but I know everything will eventually fall into place.




Some of the symptoms of PPD are:


•Are you feeling sad or depressed?


•Do you feel more irritable or angry with those around you?


•Are you having difficulty bonding with your baby?


•Do you feel anxious or panicky?


•Are you having problems with eating or sleeping?


•Are you having upsetting thoughts that you can’t get out
of your mind?

•Do you feel as if you are “out of control” or “going crazy”?


•Do you feel like you never should have become a mother?


•Are you worried that you might hurt your baby or yourself?


I'm not saying that a few of these aren't normal post delivery side effects.

But the more serious ones and ones that don't go away are a sign that you need to find someone to talk to.

It doesn't make you crazy,it just means that you need a little more support.



I never had any thoughts of hurting myself or my baby or my other children-but please,if you ever feel this way-find someone,ANYONE to take your baby while you calm down and find someone to help you figure this out.


There are tons of resources and help out there from people who know what you are going through:


Postpartum International website

Finding local help

Baby blues connections

Mother-to-Mother support




Sometimes is can be helpful just to talk to another person.

"The only thing that kept me sane was knowing that others had PPD and made it through. I searched desperately for anyone with my symptoms to reassure myself that I, too, would one day have my life back and be happy to be alive. By far the most help came from former sufferers."~Quote from a mom who suffered PPD

"1,2,3,4....Are they ALL boys?!"

When people hear that I have 4 children,I am often met with an incessant critiquing at least,and barbaric insults at worst.
I can take the reactions a step farther if I mention the gender quota of my 'pack'.
There seems to be a slight misrepresentation about the male gender.....OK,well maybe not the entire male gender,but what I'm talking about is the young ones.

Once the majority of people have discovered that all 4 of my children are boys,I am met with pity,condolences and a general "Wow,I could never....." or "Are they really all boys?" as if one of my children looks like he could pass as a girl.
On the rare occasion I do meet someone who has all boys,there is an instant bond;I feel the understanding radiating off of them.

Chances are with most people,they will ask "Are you done?" or "You aren't going to try for any more are you?" or "My cousin had 3 boys and she said enough with this and had her tubes tied".

The ones that annoy me the most are the 'gender preference' remarks:
"Didn't you want a girl?"
"Maybe the next one will be your girl"
"Are you going to keep trying until you get a girl?"

Then there are the reports like:
"Oh honey,stop while you're ahead-girls are a nightmare!"
"Boys are so much easier"
"I don't know how you do it!"
"It must be a lot of work...."

And then people just feeling the relentless need to discuss my reproductive life by asking:
"You DO know how that happens don't you?"
"Aren't you on the pill?"
"How many more are you going to have?"
"Aren't they rather close together in age?"
"You mean you aren't done?!?"

I can't begin to illustrate the joy and the fullfillment of being a mother to so many;people who don't desire a large family can't comprehend it.
I feel my children are a blessing.
Yes,I have moments-like any other parent-where I feel overwhelmed....but,the amount or gender of my children doesn't decide that.

I have chosen to be a mother......And Yes,we do know how it happens


~I have all I've waited for and I could not ask for more~

Craving....Diapers??

OK,so I love to shop;finding good deals and spending money to have new things is a hobby of mine.
I recently learned that cloth diapering comes with a never ending desire to shop.
That desire to shop-if met-can be quite gratifying!
So when I made a promise to hubby that I would not purchase any more diapers until after Christmas,I didn't stop and think of the impending withdrawals from which I would soon suffer!

Getting mail (as long as it's not bills) invigorates me;getting fluffy mail is like doubling that feeling!

I did win a random drawing entitling me to a free diaper-but that didn't do anything but wet my appetite and remind me of how fun it is to browse,select and receive those delightfully fluffy packages!

Then Kellyscloset just announced a limited time 'double diaper dollars rewards' program;I've gotten a lot of free diapers by using my rewards!
Ugh.
Why did I make that promise?
Hubby already feels badly for me (in all my agony) and offered to let me indulge in buying one diaper....ONE?!
I promptly told him "No thank you!" as this would seem rather unpleasant in comparison to selecting and receiving a whole box full of them!

Would it be bad to attempt an 'innocent' explanation of why now would be a wonderful and money saving time to buy more diapers-with the rewards program doubling and all......
No,I guess that wouldn't be fair....Hubs can't and won't tell me no.

Several cloth diaper manufacturers are releasing new designs and colors and I am so anxious to get them!
I am famished!
My diaper buying habit needs to be fed!

I have resorted to placing my insatiable need for fluff into the hands of giveaways!
I mean really,it worked once,maybe it will work again.
Or maybe hubby will cave and give back my diaper allowance.
I could always ask for fluff for Christmas......

31 diapers = two days worth

Breastfeeding is normal

Warning: I am a breastfeeding advocate.

I always find this type of subject particularly difficult to write about;I have been in positions where I wasn't getting the support I needed-and also experienced the reality of having my baby self wean early on due to pregnancy.
I have friends and family who have formula fed their babies or had difficulties and switched to formula.
I have no intentions of bashing parents who have needed to or have chosen in the past to feed their baby formula;sometimes, for whatever reason, formula becomes essential to survival.
You can get by on formula-but why get by when there are other options?
That being said,far too many mothers choose to formula feed without being presented with the 'First' choice of nutrients for their baby.


When it comes to nutritional balance,formula falls short.
Sure,it keeps the baby fed and helps them to grow-but if you were to look at Human Breastmilk through a microscope and compare it to formula,you can see a magnificent distinction in between the two.

Formula was originally created to sustain the life of a baby who would've been fed by a wet-nurse.
In the mid-1900's it became popular for mothers who didn't think they should have to devote their time to nursing a baby.
Formula in,Breastfeeding out.
In American culture,it is now the accepted way in which our babies are fed.

I stumbled upon this article,which was recently published and the majority of it is so true and needs desperately to be said.
At the risk of offending others,someone needs to start talking about this.


For infants, breastfeeding is statistically linked to higher IQs and improved defenses against asthma, ear infections, diarrhea, diabetes, obesity and respiratory problems.

Exclusive use of formula, meanwhile, was associated in independent studies in the 1990s and 2000s with asthma, allergies, diabetes, obesity, skin rashes and ear and respiratory tract infections.


We've all heard about the guidelines that babies need to receive only breastmilk for at least the first 6 months of life-but less than 35% of babies are exclusively breastfed at 6 months.


By 1971, the year before WIC was created, the product had grown so popular that 75 percent of American infants and 95 percent of American six-month-olds were consuming formula instead of breast milk--even though the vast majority of their mothers had no health reasons for doing so.
One part that I find mind boggling:


Under U.S. law, WIC (like other infant formula purchasers) doesn't have any control over what ingredients formula manufacturers put in their products or how makers advertise these ingredients. Formula makers can add any ingredients they want--and charge whatever they want--as long as they can prove to the FDA that these ingredients don't cause any harm.
Really?!?!
It doesn't have to do any good,as long as it doesn't do any harm??
And what studies are done to 'prove' there is no harm?What about long term effects?
Okay,let's take it from here.
Is it fine even if it isn't 'complete' nutrition ?(missing some/all the hormones,antibodies that are naturally in breastmilk-which is meant for human babies).
Formula is merely poorly mimicking what breastmilk is naturally capable of.
Breastmilk is tailor made for each baby-it changes from hour to hour and as your baby grows.

But,someone decided to convince parents that formula was an equal-if not a better replacement nutrition.
Would you like to know why?

Infant formula is now a product turning over billions in global sales each year for several American and European companies. In the United States, it is the exclusive form of nutrition for roughly a quarter of newborns.
(newborns = 75% of women start out trying to breastfeed and half of those stop before 6 mos)

Here's why formula is worth promoting:
Money.
Formula is expensive-not expensive to make,but very expensive to buy.
And once you feed your baby formula,you can't go back.
You.Are.Hooked.
There is no money to be 'made' off of breastmilk.

An estimated 10 to 15 percent of mothers have trouble breastfeeding, and women with certain health concerns--such as HIV, tuberculosis, toxic exposure or dependence on medications that are excreted through breast milk--can compromise their infants' health if they nurse.

So,why don't we support the ones that struggle to breastfeed?
Why not create more milk banks-and why not pay mothers to donate breastmilk?
Isn't it worth it?
Breastmilk is the most normal,nutrient dense form of sustenance and leads to healthier babies.

Does it not just make complete sense to feed our babies the food which our bodies provide for them when and if possible?

Parents are made to believe that formula is a fine alternative.......Doctors are paid (yes,paid!) to give out samples of formula and to promote formula products to moms and dads.
Hospitals give out free diaper bags chalk full of 'goodies', formula samples and coupons.
WIC has made formula easy to get and even though they support breastfeeding,just like most organizations and medical affiliates they are scared to promote breastfeeding as being the most ideal,normal nutrition with immeasurable benefits.

Why are we so scared to state the facts?
Because no parent wants to hear that they are doing anything less than the very best for their baby.
We don't want to offend anyone.
We don't want to apply too much pressure to breastfeed and scare them away.

The facts need to be stated-
Why formula should be emergency back-up plan only.
What are the actual ingredients in formula and are they ideal for our babies?
Are there long term risks to formula feeding?

A huge problem is that not only are the facts not stated openly and honestly,the support just isn't in place for parents who choose to breastfeed.

I am here to be that little voice and I have but one ambition:

To guide that one somebody to that one resource so that one more baby can receive human breastmilk

LINKS

Click here to read the entire article

Another great (lengthy) article

How breastmilk changes during the day

Breastmilk changes as baby grows

Breastmilk v formula under microscope

Poop happens........in threes???

Yesterday I experienced a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence: All three of my younger ones took a nap at the same time!

I was particularly elated since this gave me the time to finish up a couple of blogs while my children slept ever so peacefully;I don't get downtime during daylight hours very often!

Hubby had to leave for work before my little angels even started to stir;I walked him to the door and our conversation went like this:

Me "I hope you have a good day at work;I love you"
Hubby "Love you too;try to enjoy the quiet time before they wake up"
Me "I can't believe they are all sleeping!"
Hubby "Yeah,now watch them all be poopy when they wake up"

OK.STOP.RIGHT.THERE.

Did he just wish they would all wake up with full diapers?!?
The chance of that ever happening probably seems relatively slim,but regardless,I wouldn't wish that on anyone.....

Shortly after hubby drove away,I began to hear soft singing and jabbering from upstairs-my little monkeys were awakening from their naps!

I opened door one.... "Whoa! Okay,you're stinky"
No biggie;I cleaned up child number one and was exceptionally relieved when it was over.

I then headed to door number two...."OH NO! You've got to be kidding me?!?!"
He appeared to be rather proud of himself-almost too proud.
He almost seemed to have been in cahoots with his older brother,scheming together as if to say "ha ha,let's really blow this one up!"

By the time I got around to door number three,I walked in without hesitation,scooped up child number three and declared "OK,I'm not happy with your father;I know you're stinky so let's just get this over with".
Yep.He was stinky too.

ALL.THREE.BOYS.POOPY.

That has never happened to me before and I would've done just as well if it never had.
But...poop happens.

On a positive note,we have only had 2 blow-outs where the poo seeped out of the diaper at all;with disposables it seemed every other stinky diaper leaked out somehow.

I am SUPER amazed at how clean the diapers get!
I also LOVE,love,love RubyMoon cloth diaper detergent!
It smells so good and my whole basement has a yummy vanilla scent!
I will post a review on all of my cloth diaper essentials once I have been using them a bit longer.

He looks so innocent doesn't he?

Lights,Camera....wait,lights?!?

Imagine yourself......
Floating and relaxing in a warm bath;the lighting is low and you have candles burning,casting a soft warm glow in the room.
The scent of the candles is inviting and heightens your state of tranquillity.
Maybe you have soft music playing.
You close your eyes and indulge in the calm,quiet.
You are entering into a serene euphoria......and then BAMM!

Someone barrels into the room,flips on the bright lights and turns the radio to music with a lot of boom.

What just happened?
The transition from warmth and peace to unpleasant disturbance was like a slap in the face.

This is what happens to so many babies;people need to stop and realize that there is more considerate and soothing way in which to welcome babies into the world.

It wasn't until my home birth that I even considered the way in which my previous babies had been greeted.
My homebirth baby barely cried,but was very alert and seemed content;my hospital born babies were always screaming from the get-go.

It goes something like this for most babies:
Your home-sweet-liquid-wonderland is hugging and squeezing you at intervals "Man,as if it's not tight enough in here,but that feels sorta good!"
Your mommy is behaving much differently then usual;she's making loud noises and you start feeling a rush as labor hormones are fed to you "Wow,this is awesome!"
You get into a position where you start heading down a tunnel "Ahhh,I really love my warm,snug home"

Next thing this baby encounters is latex-gloved hands,bright lights,loud voices,cold clamps,rough blankets,way too vigorous rubbing,being set on a hard scale and having all sorts of hands all over him/her.
Your baby might be thinking "Hey,where's my nice warm home....can I have my mommy?!?!"

I never thought about the transition babies experience and I now regret not becoming informed;babies really benefit from being treated the same way most other mammals treat their newborns.
They are kept close by and nuzzled,nursed and it's almost always a calm experience.
In our culture,we treat birth as more of a procedure with protocols than as a warm welcoming-kind of cruel if you think about it.....There is an option to do things differently.

Ways that can help:
Dim lighting
Waterbirth/laboring in the water
Helping mother remain comfortable and calm
Getting baby into mothers arms right away
Soft relaxing sounds,calm voices
Postponing separation for 'procedures' like weighing
Nursing right away
Skin to skin
Delayed cord clamping
Allowing for privacy for the family

How you choose to welcome your baby into the world is up to you....but doesn't it just make sense to make the transition as smooth as possible?

Mommy and Jacobi

Being separated from mother stresses babies Doesn't it makes sense that babies should be as close to their mothers as possible?

Birth without Violence This is what I found available online.....There are more parts,so click 'part 2,part 3'

Labor is Good for Babies Some interesting facts about how birth effects babies

Do you really know the difference?

I knew there was potential to save money using cloth diapers.
I have discovered how cute cloth diapers are and that they are fun to buy!
My boys seem to be comfortable in cloth diapers and it's not that difficult to clean them.
There is something I didn't know:

Disposables could cause future problems with our babies!

This is one of those instances where parents just aren't being informed and big companies make big bucks off of it.
I'm not saying that disposables are deadly-and I'm not suggesting that cloth diapering is the right thing for everyone.
It is just another example of how much Americans eagerly conform to what society considers acceptable.

Please take time to read the following information~

(The following can also be viewed here at the original source)

Cloth Diapers vs Disposable : Your Baby's Health

In the battle of cloth diapers vs disposable, which are better for your baby's health?

Popular brands of disposable diapers today contain a wide variety of toxic chemicals. Cloth can have an impact on health, too, though. Which should you choose?

Boys wearing disposable diapers had scrotal temperatures almost 20 F degrees higher than boys wearing cloth. This could lead to fertility issues later in life. Mice experienced asthma like symptoms when exposed to disposable diapers.

They experienced no symptoms when exposed to cloth. Many children experienced horrible burn-like rashes likely caused by the chemicals in disposables, though the manufacturers won't admit to this.

Disposable diaper companies will not tell anyone what is in their diapers and due to some quirks in the current law avoid reporting their ingredients even though they share many of the same ingredients as other personal care products.

Cloth Diapers vs Disposable: Diaper Rash

A major diaper manufacturer did their own study to determine the incidence of diaper rash and found that diaper rash increased from 7.1% to 61% with the increased use of disposable diapers over cloth diapers. Since disposable diapers cause more diaper rash, resulting in you having to take more time to try to help heal the rash and buy more products to fix it. Diaper rash can, of course, still occur with cloth diapers, but you can choose to use only natural materials that breathe to reduce the chance of this happening, and if your cloth diapers start causing redness, you may find that stripping them or changing how you clean your cloth diapers can solve the issue.

Cloth Diapers vs Disposable: Toxic Chemicals: Cancer, Infertility, Endocrine Issues

Disposable diapers are host to myriad toxic chemicals. These are released from disposable diapers during normal every day use. When you see that something causes eye, skin, and lung irritation please remember that if the body is acting inflamed it is trying to fight off something that is causing harm to it. Therefore, obvious symptoms like eye and skin irritation can be a sign that there is more going on inside the body. If your child's immune system has to spend a lot of time fighting foreign chemicals, it has less resources available when your child is exposed to bacteria and viruses. We may vaccinate our children and worry about their health, but then assault their developing immune systems with toxic chemicals, leaving them vulnerable.





Since most diaper manufacturers refuse to share their diaper's ingredients, we only know what chemicals they may be using by what is emitted by the diapers. Here is a list of some of the chemicals that were emitted from disposable diapers:

Xylene: neurotoxin, toxic to endocrine and respiratory systems.

Ethyl Benzene: neurotoxin, toxic to endocrine and respiratory systems.

Styerene: carcinogenic (cancer-causing.)

Isopropylene: neurotoxin

Dioxin: Released during bleaching process. Toxic to endocrine system,

liver, skin, and the most toxic of all cancer causing chemicals. In very small quantities, it can cause birth defects and genetic damage. It is banned in most countries but of course not in the US.

Tributyl-tin (TBT) - Endocrine disruptor

Sodium Polyacrylate (see picture above)- The gel like beads you find stuck to your baby's bum. They can absorb 1,000 times their weight in water, which is why they are used. Creates dust that can cause lung and eye irritation. These were removed from tampons because they were leading to toxic shock syndrome. It has caused health problems in women who work in the factories where they manufacture it, and it has killed children who have ingested 5 grams or less of the stuff. It can cause severe skin reactions and has been associated with staph infections in babies.

Fragrance - fragrances often contain phthalates and other unidentified substances because companies do not have to disclose the ingredients used in “fragrance” because they'd protected their product, calling the ingredients a “trade secret.”

Other plastics, polyurethane, adhesives, glues, inks elastics, lubricants: can cause skin irritation and also often contain toxic chemicals like formaldehyde which are toxic to the respiratory system.

No long term studies have ever been done to discover if these chemicals might be having any long-term effects on babies who are in contact with them for 2 to 3 years straight. Their reproductive effects are especially of concern since these chemicals are up against baby's reproductive organs during this time. (We do know that cancer rates are rising and that men's sperm counts are lower than they have ever been, however.)

Journey to our Home Birth

October,2003-"NO way!!! I'm pregnant??"

During this pregnancy I did....absolutely nothing-well,except barf my brains out for 20 weeks followed by laying around and gaining too much weight.
At 28 weeks,I moved back to Michigan-from Mississippi (yes,I totally did that chant they teach you to memorize "M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I") so I switched Obstetricians.

I didn't really know much about OBs other than "Hey,somebody has to deliver my baby".
The first thing my new OB told me was "You're gonna have quite a large baby and we might need to schedule an induction before he gets too big".
When I was 36 weeks,I mentioned the fact that my mother delivered my brother and I via c-section...What I was hoping for was that my OB would reassure me that a vaginal birth would be achievable.
Instead she said "Well,you do have a borderline pelvis,so there's a good chance your baby won't fit".

After telling my mother this,she encouraged me to consult with our midwife friend.
Linda (the midwife) came to see me even though I wasn't her patient.
She recommended some techniques to assist my baby into a good birthing position and applauded my desire to experience a natural birth.

On June 17,2004-at 40 weeks to the day,I went into labor (You can read my birth stories here ).
They kept making me lay down for the fetal monitor.
My contractions were strong and steady-yet my OB was insistent on intervening.
I caved and let her break my water at 8cm.
She came back into the room just in time to catch my baby boy.




October,2007 "What?!?! Yes!!!"

Maybe I got thumped on the head,but I went straight back to the OB who delivered my first baby;there weren't too many options that I knew of,and my thought was "Well,if I have a 30% chance of a c-section,at least this doctor is good at them!".
I ended up seeing the male OB (it's a husband wife OB practice) and he was so mean about my weight gain the entire pregnancy;he would tell me that he'd be happy if I didn't gain anymore weight.

The day of my due date,my OB offered to induce me (because he was going on vacation).
When I refused,he said "See you next week still pregnant".
3 days later on June 17,2008 I went into labor.
Once again,I was forced to be hooked up to monitors so they could 'try to get a good strip' of my baby's heart rate.
At the hospital I was offered pain medication every time I cried out in pain.
The back-up OB did a pelvic exam to determine my progress and the next thing I know,she's trying to shove a amniotic hook into me.
I started saying "No,what's that...I don't want my water broken!!"
I was closing my legs and she was trying to pry them back apart.

I ended up delivering my baby with my feet in stirrups,a internal baby monitor at the last minute and having my water artificially ruptured for the monitor.




January,2009 "You have GOT to be kidding me! Again?!?! "

Okay,a bit unexpected.
I tried to seek out a doctor who would have better bedside manner,but when the first OB I attempted called me fat (note,6 mos postpartum from my last baby and every single ounce of baby weight was GONE) I didn't know where to turn...so I went BACK to my original OB.

Same old story,telling me not to gain so much weight and talking about inducing me if I went over.
I opened up to him and pleaded with him not to intervene during my labor-we even made it part of my birth plan.
I went into labor on my due date August 26,2009 ;when I called my OB to tell him and explained how erratic my contractions were (some close,some long,some short,sometimes I'd go 30 minutes without one) he told me "That's not labor....time them for an hour and call me back if they get more regular"
An hour later I was walking into the maternity ward with the same kind of contractions,only stronger.
My room wasn't ready for me,they lost my paperwork and they were asking me about my medical history while I was contracting.
45 minutes after arriving at the hospital,my OB checked me and I was 8cm.
He insisted that he break my water;I tried to decline (note,this was during transition) and begged to get on my hands and knees or SOMETHING!
He said "We need to make sure there's no meconium".
He did it.
He played the 'bad mommy card' on me!!
I agreed,but I still begged to move my body;I was told no "You're too far into this to be getting up and moving around".

My OB left the room.
5 minutes later I was involuntarily pushing my baby out of my body.
My OB was on his computer in the hallway.
He caught my baby with ONE glove on.




October,2010 "I can't believe it!! AGAIN?!"

Okay,by this time you're probably wondering if my husband and I even have a clue where babies come from....
I needed to establish some form of care,so I went to a clinic that offered certified nurse midwives (CNM).
They treated me pretty well,took the time to listen to me and seemed very supportive of my wishes for a natural birth.
When I was about 20 weeks pregnant,I started reading Ina May Gaskins books and also 'Pushed' by Jennifer Block.
I re-watched 'Business of Being Born' 3 or 4 times along with another documentary 'Pregnant in America'.

At 28 weeks,I switched to my homebirth midwife-the one who visited me during my first pregnancy.
As soon as I talked with her,I knew I wanted to bring our baby into this world in the privacy and comfort of our own home.

I am so happy that I made that move.
Nothing can replace how I was made to feel at our home birth.

I still carry some painful memories from the way I was treated at the hospital;I think the biggest moment was during my 3rd delivery.
My OB wasn't even in the room
The experience was taken from me in a way that's hard to forget
I had a 3.5 hour labor.
My body was so relaxed and calm-it knew what it was doing,but my mind was so tense!
I felt so betrayed and I still have a hard time feeling the beauty of the moment when I think of the inattentive care and cruel treatment I received.

In the end,I hope that other women can read my story and realize that the provider you choose is SO important!
Find one that believes in you and in the birth process.

Love newborn baby feet

*Please read my birth stories-you will probably note the difference in how I felt and see how I was treated http://givingbirthafightingchance.blogspot.com/p/crunchy-birthstories.html

Media-the model to live by?

When I was growing up,I wasn't exposed to the types of things young girls seem to be today;grocery stores didn't seem to be as laden with magazines covered with photoshoped,air brushed women and there wasn't billboards boosting scantily clothed 'dancers'.
The standards weren't so high.
When I think about the type of pressure young girls and women face everyday-they are never pretty,skinny,firm,perky,rich,famous or smart enough-it makes me very sad.
And even if they are smart,it still won't be enough because to them,no matter how beautiful they might seem to others,they still may not feel they are.

The big thing now is that when you have babies you are ruined.
Note:this is not my opinion,please read on.......


After you experience a pregnancy,your body will never be the same;your stomach will be extra pudgy,you will probably have a nice trail (maybe even rivers!) of stretch marks on areas of your body which became larger during those nine months.
Your boobs will more than likely get a little deflated after your milk dries up and they might sit a bit lower too.
Your hips are going to be wider than before you became pregnant and you might always have bigger feet too!

These are things that I feel make a woman into a mother.
And what more beautiful thing is there than a mother?
To grow a baby inside your body,nurture and love this new little being and become more than you ever imagined and to feel more than you even knew you could feel.

If we are going to change how young girls feel about themselves,we have got to show them that women are more than a pretty face!
Human beings are more than just looks-we are all people-young/old,large/small.

Women can't compete with photoshopped images or plastic surgery.
We aren't even supposed to look like that.
We are humans,who have blemishes and imperfections-but that's what makes us beautiful!

It's okay to want to look nice-but it's more important to FEEL nice and that starts from the inside.