Journey to our Home Birth

October,2003-"NO way!!! I'm pregnant??"

During this pregnancy I did....absolutely nothing-well,except barf my brains out for 20 weeks followed by laying around and gaining too much weight.
At 28 weeks,I moved back to Michigan-from Mississippi (yes,I totally did that chant they teach you to memorize "M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I") so I switched Obstetricians.

I didn't really know much about OBs other than "Hey,somebody has to deliver my baby".
The first thing my new OB told me was "You're gonna have quite a large baby and we might need to schedule an induction before he gets too big".
When I was 36 weeks,I mentioned the fact that my mother delivered my brother and I via c-section...What I was hoping for was that my OB would reassure me that a vaginal birth would be achievable.
Instead she said "Well,you do have a borderline pelvis,so there's a good chance your baby won't fit".

After telling my mother this,she encouraged me to consult with our midwife friend.
Linda (the midwife) came to see me even though I wasn't her patient.
She recommended some techniques to assist my baby into a good birthing position and applauded my desire to experience a natural birth.

On June 17,2004-at 40 weeks to the day,I went into labor (You can read my birth stories here ).
They kept making me lay down for the fetal monitor.
My contractions were strong and steady-yet my OB was insistent on intervening.
I caved and let her break my water at 8cm.
She came back into the room just in time to catch my baby boy.




October,2007 "What?!?! Yes!!!"

Maybe I got thumped on the head,but I went straight back to the OB who delivered my first baby;there weren't too many options that I knew of,and my thought was "Well,if I have a 30% chance of a c-section,at least this doctor is good at them!".
I ended up seeing the male OB (it's a husband wife OB practice) and he was so mean about my weight gain the entire pregnancy;he would tell me that he'd be happy if I didn't gain anymore weight.

The day of my due date,my OB offered to induce me (because he was going on vacation).
When I refused,he said "See you next week still pregnant".
3 days later on June 17,2008 I went into labor.
Once again,I was forced to be hooked up to monitors so they could 'try to get a good strip' of my baby's heart rate.
At the hospital I was offered pain medication every time I cried out in pain.
The back-up OB did a pelvic exam to determine my progress and the next thing I know,she's trying to shove a amniotic hook into me.
I started saying "No,what's that...I don't want my water broken!!"
I was closing my legs and she was trying to pry them back apart.

I ended up delivering my baby with my feet in stirrups,a internal baby monitor at the last minute and having my water artificially ruptured for the monitor.




January,2009 "You have GOT to be kidding me! Again?!?! "

Okay,a bit unexpected.
I tried to seek out a doctor who would have better bedside manner,but when the first OB I attempted called me fat (note,6 mos postpartum from my last baby and every single ounce of baby weight was GONE) I didn't know where to turn...so I went BACK to my original OB.

Same old story,telling me not to gain so much weight and talking about inducing me if I went over.
I opened up to him and pleaded with him not to intervene during my labor-we even made it part of my birth plan.
I went into labor on my due date August 26,2009 ;when I called my OB to tell him and explained how erratic my contractions were (some close,some long,some short,sometimes I'd go 30 minutes without one) he told me "That's not labor....time them for an hour and call me back if they get more regular"
An hour later I was walking into the maternity ward with the same kind of contractions,only stronger.
My room wasn't ready for me,they lost my paperwork and they were asking me about my medical history while I was contracting.
45 minutes after arriving at the hospital,my OB checked me and I was 8cm.
He insisted that he break my water;I tried to decline (note,this was during transition) and begged to get on my hands and knees or SOMETHING!
He said "We need to make sure there's no meconium".
He did it.
He played the 'bad mommy card' on me!!
I agreed,but I still begged to move my body;I was told no "You're too far into this to be getting up and moving around".

My OB left the room.
5 minutes later I was involuntarily pushing my baby out of my body.
My OB was on his computer in the hallway.
He caught my baby with ONE glove on.




October,2010 "I can't believe it!! AGAIN?!"

Okay,by this time you're probably wondering if my husband and I even have a clue where babies come from....
I needed to establish some form of care,so I went to a clinic that offered certified nurse midwives (CNM).
They treated me pretty well,took the time to listen to me and seemed very supportive of my wishes for a natural birth.
When I was about 20 weeks pregnant,I started reading Ina May Gaskins books and also 'Pushed' by Jennifer Block.
I re-watched 'Business of Being Born' 3 or 4 times along with another documentary 'Pregnant in America'.

At 28 weeks,I switched to my homebirth midwife-the one who visited me during my first pregnancy.
As soon as I talked with her,I knew I wanted to bring our baby into this world in the privacy and comfort of our own home.

I am so happy that I made that move.
Nothing can replace how I was made to feel at our home birth.

I still carry some painful memories from the way I was treated at the hospital;I think the biggest moment was during my 3rd delivery.
My OB wasn't even in the room
The experience was taken from me in a way that's hard to forget
I had a 3.5 hour labor.
My body was so relaxed and calm-it knew what it was doing,but my mind was so tense!
I felt so betrayed and I still have a hard time feeling the beauty of the moment when I think of the inattentive care and cruel treatment I received.

In the end,I hope that other women can read my story and realize that the provider you choose is SO important!
Find one that believes in you and in the birth process.

Love newborn baby feet

*Please read my birth stories-you will probably note the difference in how I felt and see how I was treated http://givingbirthafightingchance.blogspot.com/p/crunchy-birthstories.html