I have received emails from moms of 2,or 3-sometimes more-children,asking me how I do it-"How do you stay sane?"
I've been accused of "Having it all together"
At times that feels like a compliment....other times it seems absurdly comical!
I try not to allow my bad days to define how I portray my life as a mama to five children,but there are times when I think "I want to have it all together like *that* mom"
It's really laughable....no mother has it "all together"-
"Oh no,that's not true" you say?
Because *apparently* you have it all together-and this post isn't for you.
Well,as a mama to five little ones,I don't "Have it all together"
Sure,I have days where things fall into place with hard work-
The children are visibly clean,they actually have pants on,they will eat what is put in front of them without a squabble from one or more of them,AND they are getting along.
My hair gets brushed,I have on clothes that are actually clean,and I'm ready to go at a moments notice.
The kitchen is clean,laundry caught up,dishes washed and put away.
The trash is taken out,the bathrooms freshened up,the children's rooms tidy.
The floor is vacuumed,furniture polished,and the food is prepared.
The baby is fed,clean,and content.
Even the dog is smiling.
The world is beautiful.Everything is perfect.
But even when all of these *important* things are accomplished,it doesn't guarantee sanity.
Sometimes,sanity comes in another form-what DIDN'T happen:
The juice didn't get dumped on the floor,poop didn't get tracked through the house,the keys to the car didn't get thrown in the toilet.
A window didn't get stuck open in a rainstorm,a bottle of 150 pills didn't accidentally get strewn all over the floor,the toaster didn't catch on fire.
It's important to have a good sense of humor,since for me,it's more common that poop gets tracked on my kitchen floor than it is for my kitchen floor to be spotless!
Striving for purely productive days full of perfection everyday can get exhausting,frustrating,and it doesn't always lead to accomplishing all that you desire.
When it looks like a mother has it all together,it's usually one of two things:
1.) She is showing her "highlight reel" and is actually just as stressed as you are
2.) She is showing her sanity.
Option 2 leads to the question,"how does she keep her sanity?"
She finds balance.
I have known some stressed out mama's in my life (even been one many times!) and if they could remember that striving for perfection as a mother can lead to insanity,they would certainly be striving for balance instead!
Laying out clothes,showering the night before,cooking extra.
Make a list (in your head if needed) of what things really NEED to be done,then feel accomplished when those things are checked off.
Ask for help on things that *need* to be done.
Choose your battles,because it's not worth turning a battle into a war over something frivolous.
Be kind to yourself,it's a great lesson for your children to learn how to:
Forgive the messy house and everything that didn't go smoothly.
Because sometimes it's a relief to cry.
Because someday you will anyway,why not now?
Being a mother.It's amazing,challenging,fun,dirty work.
You have to find balance or you will never be sane!!
And sanity is so much better than "Having it all together"
|Relax.Have a cup of tea,mama|
*I have so much I want to say on this topic,but more in a future post!